I'm slipping - sleeping all the time, getting nothing done, not eating properly, putting everyone else ahead of me - all over again.
I could so easily just let you have your way and watch me disappear again. I know that I shouldn't.
I am very aware of the parallels between you and him. I feel it in who I am when I'm with you. I don't think I can allow myself to go through this again.
You need someone you can rely on, and in relying on me you risk my destruction because I can rely on you to be just like him.
I always seem to end up with bad guys (hence the title of this entry) but not necessarily bad people, just guys who end up being bad for me.
I meet their needs at great cost to myself and in return they give almost nothing. In short, I feel used.
No doubt about it, I'm best off without it and now it's my turn to be the bad guy.